The 3 Biblical Reasons for Divorce

As a Christian, when we walk down the aisle on our wedding day, we are committing to a lifetime with our spouse. The bible tells us in Mark 10 that when we marry “two become one flesh”, that in the eyes of God we have been joined together. When we consider our our marriages, none of us consider the idea of divorce. Quite frankly, most of us don’t even see it as an option.

As a Christian counselor who works with couples who are struggling in their marriages, the most frequent thing I hear is “I can’t get divorced because I am a Christian and I made a promise to God.” While this sentiment is true for most cases, what many people don’t know, is that God provides in scripture 3 reasons for biblical divorce. When I share this with clients, many have no idea, or are resistant to the idea because for the majority of their life they have been told that divorce is not an option.

While I never suggest divorce as an immediate response to difficult times, I think it is imperative for Christians to know when divorce is an option. At the root of this mentality is the notion that marriage is a way of honoring and worshipping God. If we are not carrying out our marriages in the way He deems appropriate, we are dishonoring Him just as much by staying as we are by possibly leaving. So what are the reasons that God provides anyway?

Reason 1: Abandonment

“But if a husband or wife who isn’t a believer insists on leaving, let them go. In such cases, the believing husband or wife, is no longer bound to the other.” 1 Corinthians 7:15A

In this passage, we are provided that we are not bound as Believers in remaining married to a non-believing spouse. The biggest thing to note here is what constitutes a believer. Just because your spouse attends church, may read their bible or say their prayers, does not mean that they are faithfully Believing or engaging in a relationship with our Lord. Following the works and rituals does not guarantee a relationship and belief. Many wives tell me that their husband’s are not spiritually leading or that their husbands just “check the boxes” of what they are “supposed” to do. When this is the case, abandonment may be considered as a reason for divorce.

Reason 2: Adultery

“ I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.” Matthew 19:7-9

This reason for divorce is the most widely known and discussed in the modern church community. While original language of scripture doesn’t translate to “adultery”, the notion is that sexual immorality is grounds for divorce. The most confusing part of this scripture is that if a divorce occurs, and one remarries, they are committing “adultery”. However, this is only the case of they divorce for non-biblical reasons (as discussed in this blog).

Reason 3: Abuse

Exodus 21:10; Deuteronomy 21:11 (and many more)

This final reason for divorce is probably the most convoluted. There is no direct statement in scripture that says “divorce is ok if someone is abusing you emotionally or physically”. However, many places in the bible discuss how abuse is displeasing to the meaning of marriage and are dishonoring of the marriage bond. When you think about abuse as reason for divorce, consider reconciliation deeply – for God can heal us of sins. However, when abuse is chronic, unchanging, and damaging to mental and physical safety, divorce is permittable. The spouse is not living a Christian life and submitting to a biblical marriage which qualifies them as a non-believer.

Remember that the first step if experiencing marriage conflict should be to seek help in the form of counseling. This will help redirect your marriage back on God. If you are experiencing a biblical reason for divorce, it may be worth considering if you are honoring God? If your marriage is struggling or if divorce for biblical reasons is necessary seek a Christian therapist near you. Anchored Hope Counseling in Kannapolis, NC provides a wide range of therapy services from couples counseling to personal one-on-one sessions. View a list of our offerings online, or schedule a consultation today. If you liked these tips remember to subscribe to our weekly blog for more news and insights.