Mental Health Tag

God of Comfort: Being Anchored in Christ When We are Suffering

Hurricane Helene: devastates Western Carolina and Tennessee with hundred dead and even more missing. Entire cities wiped clean. People now homeless and desperate for supplies.

Shipping Union Strike: For the first time in over 50 years, the shipping union is on strike due to unfair wages. Supplies along the eastern seaboard to be at an all time low as strike continues. 

In the last 7 days, there has been a valley of immense struggle, loss, and devastation around us. As we look to the days ahead, there are a lot of unknowns for many Americans. It is in times like these that it is so easy to ask “Why do you allow this God?” “What did we do to deserve this level of struggle?” 

The concept of why? Is one that is explored frequently in the bible. The book of Job gives us the closest “answer”. Suffering is part of our experience. Instead of asking what we did wrong to deserve something, or blaming God for suffering, we are called to see God show up on the journey of suffering with us and deliver us on the other side. Christ is our redeemer whose ultimate position is to extend us grace and mercy. Through deliverance of all affliction, we can find the comfort of being anchored in Christ. Suffering may be a part of His plan but until it is well, it is not over. God has a plan to prosper us and not harm us, plans to give us hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11). This is the ultimate gift of eternal life. 

Being anchored in Christ merely means that we are trusting in Him. We are allowing His presence to calm our hearts in the chaos around us. And boy have we been in chaos. When we are able to see past the suffering that feels like it has been afflicted upon us, we are able to root ourselves deeply in the knowledge of the comfort of the Lord. It is then that we can take that comfort and comfort others through His eternal, extending love.

2 Corinthians 1:3 says “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort.”

Paul tells us that all comfort amongst struggle comes from God himself. He goes on to say in verse 4 “He comforts us in all our afflictions, so that we are able to comfort those who are in any kind of affliction.” Jesus experienced the ultimate suffering for all of us, alone on the cross. He did this so that God’s comfort could be ours for eternity to have and to share.  

The headlines of chaos are swarming (and with the election looming its bound to expand). In this time, remember that our hearts anchored in Christ allows us to feel peace and provide for others. If you are currently walking in a season of suffering, afflicted by the chaotic world, remember that He remains. He is your “perfect peace that leads to a steadfast heart” (Isaiah 26:3). If you are currently adjacent to the suffering of our country, inflicted by the sadness and devastation that has occurred to those around you, remember that you are called. Through ministry we can provide others abundant comfort (in means that you are able) and love. 

If you are looking for ways to provide comfort to those experiencing suffering from Hurricane Helene please click here. 

If you or someone you know is struggling with the impacts of Hurricane Helene or any other season of suffering, turn to Anchored Hope Counseling in Kannapolis, NC. Anchored Hope Counseling provides a wide range of therapy services from couples counseling to personal one-on-one sessions. View a list of our offerings online, or schedule a consultation today. If you liked these tips remember to subscribe  to our weekly blog for more news and insights.

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TikTok Said I Have Anxiety

The Plague of TikTok Diagnosis on Mental Health

“Welcome to counseling. I can’t wait to get to know you and walk this journey of healing with you!”

“Don’t worry. Tiktok has already told me that I have OCD and likely a personality disorder, so really I just need you to tell me how to fix that.” 

TikTok diagnosis. The newest craze and epidemic plaguing teens and young adults nationwide. As TikTok has grown, so too has the niche of psychTok – channels that provide “mental health” diagnoses. Many of these channels claim expertise in the field of psychology or therapy. They list out symptomatology of mental health disorders that are vague enough that vulnerable populations can connect to them. On the surface this cam seem like a helpful tool. In reality it is causing a large subset of our population to believe that they are experiencing serious mental health concerns. In turn they then take those labels on as their identities. 

Since COVID, the usage of social media platforms like TikTok and Instagram have risen by 180% amongst 18-25 years olds. In addition, this demographic is also experiencing a large uptick in feelings of isolation and anxiety. Pair this with increasing awareness on the importance of mental health and you have a recipe for the perfect influential target. Social media “influencers” are praying on these individuals by providing them a relief from their loneliness. This comes as a titled diagnosis and a perceived connection to others – the idea that they are “not alone”. 

In practice, the idea of bringing connectedness and relief to clients is part of the long term goal of all therapists. However, TikTok diagnosing is taking away a key component – human variation and perspective. When clients come to my office and tell me that TikTok diagnosed them with xyz, the first thing I do is ask them what about that diagnosis they connected with. Most teens and young adults have connections to 2-3 defining components of a disorder. However, they don’t actually “qualify” for a diagnosis. Furthermore, the things that TikTok is taking away is the fact that we are all living a unique human experience. Resources like the DSM-V provide educated and licensed professionals a guideline to help clients work through their own experiences and the behavior that derived from the cognitive impacts of such. Key word: guideline. 

While I would love to see this trend disappear completely, the reality of our ever growing virtual world is that this problem isn’t going anywhere. Therefore, it is more important than ever that we become increasingly aware of the limitations on these platforms. Understanding that TikTok and other social media cannot stand in for the highly trained service that therapists provide. Becoming aware of the subliminal, subconscious, and blatant attempts to influence and change the perspective of the vulnerable. Working to use caution when engaging with content. And ultimately, recognizing that no virtual, highly influenced experience can truly stand in for human experience, connection, and knowledge. 

If you or someone you know is struggling with the impacts of social media on mental health or inclined to TikTok diagnosing, turn to Anchored Hope Counseling in Kannapolis, NC. Anchored Hope Counseling provides a wide range of therapy services from couples counseling to personal one-on-one sessions. View a list of our offerings online, or schedule a consultation today. If you liked these tips remember to subscribe  to our weekly blog for more news and insights.

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Holistic Wellness for Better Mental Health

Incorporating the 6 Dimensions of Wellness into your Mental Health Healing

Counseling is so pivotal to the mental health journey. However, it is not the only thing to consider as we take a 360 look at improving our lives. In recent years, research has narrowed wellness down into 6 distinct categories: emotional, social, physical, occupational/financial, intellectual, and spiritual. Whether you are in the thick of your healing, or just now starting, looking deeper into how each of the 6 dimensions can be improved in your life is essential. Below, we define each of the dimensions as well as provide tangible suggestions on how to take action in incorporating them into your therapeutic endeavor. 

Emotional

Emotional wellness is defined by the ability to experience positive feelings and adapt to stressful and hard times with resiliency and grace. This dimension of wellness allows us to be more grateful, content, compassionate, and empathetic to those around us. When hard times arise, people with strong emotional wellness are able to have perspective and address concerns head on. If this is an area of growth for you, some suggestions for improvement include:

1. Practice mindfulness – use an app such as Headspace
2. Process your emotions through individual reflection (try this journal) or with a trained professional (like a counselor at Anchored Hope Counseling). 
3. Engage in more gratitude – share with others when you are thankful for them and how they are positively impacting your daily life.

Social

Social wellness is defined by the ability to engage in healthy relationships that are able to be maintained long term, provide connection and belonging, and are supportive. This dimension of wellness allows us to feel less alone and more engaged with the people around us. When hard times arise, people with strong social wellness have people to lean on for understanding and support. If this is an area of growth for you, some suggestions for improvement include:

1. Take up a hobby to meet new people
2. Get involved with a community organization or through a church 
3. Prioritize your current relationships by allowing time and access while deepening through intimate interactions 

Physical

Physical wellness is defined by the ability to recognize the need to take care of your physical body through sleep, nutrition, and exercise. This dimension of wellness allows us to create and maintain strong bodies that are capable of withstanding time and stress. When hard times arise, people with strong physical wellness are able to keep themselves free of ailment and disease or bounce back from ailment quickly. If this is an area of growth for you, some suggestions for improvement include:

1. Find a type of exercise you enjoy
2. Eat a more balanced and intuitive diet. Consider listening to a podcast such as Freely Rooted to get new perspectives on holistic and clean eating.
3. Be mindful of what you are putting in and on your body. So many products are processed and made with tons of chemicals that can cause so many long term effects 
4. Take supplements that are natural and boost your body’s ability to do what it was made to do 

Occupational/Financial

Occupational/Financial wellness has classically been lumped together as one dimension. They are defined by the ability to create a healthy work life balance that promotes personal satisfaction and financial reward/stability. This dimension of wellness allows us to be more intentional about how we are contributing to society through our work, while maintaining a healthy home life, and making smart and stable monetary choices. When hard times arise, people with strong occupational/financial wellness are able to recognize when a change in work needs to occur, when money needs to be better managed, and are financially prepared to sustain a loss or change of occupation. If this is an area of growth for you, some suggestions for improvement include: 

1. Create a budget that allows for saving. A good app is Monarch Money
2. Be mindful of work and home life boundaries – agree to leaving home at home and work at work 
3. Engage in more mindful learning about investing and long term planning – consider the podcast Faith Driven Investor

Intellectual 

Intellectual wellness is defined by the interest and engagement in intellectual curiosity, creativity, and growth. This dimension of wellness allows us to be lifelong learners that are dedicated to engaging in the content that interests us and sharing it as appropriate. When hard times arise, people with strong intellectual wellness are able to have perspective and share research based information that allows them to develop their opinions and thought patterns. If this is an area of growth for you, some suggestions for improvement include:

1. Read – find a topic that interests you and engage through books. If you aren’t sure where to start, websites like Goodreads have lists of books in over 1,000 categories with ratings and reviews 
2. When you hear information or opinions of others, do your own research before jumping to conclusions or believing it as truth 
3. Learn a new skill that you have been wanting to learn – bonus if you can turn it into a side hustle 

Spiritual

Spiritual wellness is defined by having a purpose or sense of meaning in life that is defined by your morals, values, and ethics. For many people, spiritual wellness has a religious component, but it does not have to. This dimension of wellness allows us to be more grounded in what we believe and make sure our actions align with our beliefs. When hard times arise, people with strong spiritual wellness are able to lean on their faith and understanding of their perspective of the world. If this is an area of growth for you, some suggestions for improvement include:

1. Prayer
2. Practice forgiveness – people who are able to forgive are more likely to feel connected to their core beliefs and the grace that life provides 
3. If able, travel to places different than where you come from. Engaging with other cultures helps you be grounded in what you believe while also broadening closed off beliefs and through patterns. 

Take a look at this resource where you can assess your current life balance among the 6 dimensions so that you can adequately address the areas needed for long term growth and development. 

If you are ready to work towards starting your wellness journey or looking to bring new growth to your already thriving work towards growth, turn to Anchored Hope Counseling in Kannapolis, NC. Anchored Hope Counseling provides a wide range of therapy services from couples counseling to personal one-on-one sessions. View a list of our offerings online, or schedule a consultation today. If you liked these tips remember to subscribe  to our weekly blog for more news and insights.

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The 3 Biblical Reasons for Divorce

As a Christian, when we walk down the aisle on our wedding day, we are committing to a lifetime with our spouse. The bible tells us in Mark 10 that when we marry “two become one flesh”, that in the eyes of God we have been joined together. When we consider our our marriages, none of us consider the idea of divorce. Quite frankly, most of us don’t even see it as an option.

As a Christian counselor who works with couples who are struggling in their marriages, the most frequent thing I hear is “I can’t get divorced because I am a Christian and I made a promise to God.” While this sentiment is true for most cases, what many people don’t know, is that God provides in scripture 3 reasons for biblical divorce. When I share this with clients, many have no idea, or are resistant to the idea because for the majority of their life they have been told that divorce is not an option.

While I never suggest divorce as an immediate response to difficult times, I think it is imperative for Christians to know when divorce is an option. At the root of this mentality is the notion that marriage is a way of honoring and worshipping God. If we are not carrying out our marriages in the way He deems appropriate, we are dishonoring Him just as much by staying as we are by possibly leaving. So what are the reasons that God provides anyway?

Reason 1: Abandonment

“But if a husband or wife who isn’t a believer insists on leaving, let them go. In such cases, the believing husband or wife, is no longer bound to the other.” 1 Corinthians 7:15A

In this passage, we are provided that we are not bound as Believers in remaining married to a non-believing spouse. The biggest thing to note here is what constitutes a believer. Just because your spouse attends church, may read their bible or say their prayers, does not mean that they are faithfully Believing or engaging in a relationship with our Lord. Following the works and rituals does not guarantee a relationship and belief. Many wives tell me that their husband’s are not spiritually leading or that their husbands just “check the boxes” of what they are “supposed” to do. When this is the case, abandonment may be considered as a reason for divorce.

Reason 2: Adultery

“ I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.” Matthew 19:7-9

This reason for divorce is the most widely known and discussed in the modern church community. While original language of scripture doesn’t translate to “adultery”, the notion is that sexual immorality is grounds for divorce. The most confusing part of this scripture is that if a divorce occurs, and one remarries, they are committing “adultery”. However, this is only the case of they divorce for non-biblical reasons (as discussed in this blog).

Reason 3: Abuse

Exodus 21:10; Deuteronomy 21:11 (and many more)

This final reason for divorce is probably the most convoluted. There is no direct statement in scripture that says “divorce is ok if someone is abusing you emotionally or physically”. However, many places in the bible discuss how abuse is displeasing to the meaning of marriage and are dishonoring of the marriage bond. When you think about abuse as reason for divorce, consider reconciliation deeply – for God can heal us of sins. However, when abuse is chronic, unchanging, and damaging to mental and physical safety, divorce is permittable. The spouse is not living a Christian life and submitting to a biblical marriage which qualifies them as a non-believer.

Remember that the first step if experiencing marriage conflict should be to seek help in the form of counseling. This will help redirect your marriage back on God. If you are experiencing a biblical reason for divorce, it may be worth considering if you are honoring God? If your marriage is struggling or if divorce for biblical reasons is necessary seek a Christian therapist near you. Anchored Hope Counseling in Kannapolis, NC provides a wide range of therapy services from couples counseling to personal one-on-one sessions. View a list of our offerings online, or schedule a consultation today. If you liked these tips remember to subscribe to our weekly blog for more news and insights.

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Spring Cleaning and Mental Health

Decluttering your mind, body and soul

Flowers are popping back up. The weather is getting warmer. Birds are chirping and returning from their winter migration. Spring is notorious for fresh starts and beginning new. In the cycle of seasons, the cycle of life is reflected. After periods of decay, death, and ends, a season of rebirth, renewal, and rejuvenation takes hold. For many people, this means attacking their closets, cupboards, and garages for the age old spring cleaning. But spring cleaning doesn’t have to just be about cleaning out your spaces – it can also mean cleaning out your mind, focusing on your health, and washing away the sins of your soul. 

Renewing your Mind

1. Take some time to reflect on your negative thoughts and the attached behaviors. Consider how you can let these negativities go and start anew. Possibly write each one down and toss them in the fire. Alternatively, try journaling about them and reflecting on what goals you want to achieve. 
2. Straighten up your priorities. Take inventory of all the things you are responsible for and engage with on a daily basis. Which of these things can you let go of? Which of these things can you do less of? What things actually matter? Putting your priorities in order and honoring what matters most to you will allow you to let some things go that don’t serve you.

Refocusing your Body

1. Create a self-care routine. It takes 30 days to make a habit, and research suggests we should only try to build 1 or 2 habits at a time. Physical self care could be introducing a new intuitive eating and nutrition plan, exercising more, or getting regular sleep. 
2. Movement is so important to getting back to equilibrium. Movement can be as big as regular high intensity exercise or as simple as a stroll in your neighborhood. Bonus points if you move outside in the sunshine! 

Rejuvenating your Soul

1. Find a new (or reintroduce) intentional practice with God. It is so easy to let go of our relationship building and intentionality with the Lord as we go through everyday life. Try 15 minutes of prayer, a new devotional, or 30 minutes of reading your bible. Your soul will thank you for it. 
2. Reconnect with people through gratitude and appreciation. When we find things we are thankful for in our relationships and share them with those loved ones, we can provide ourselves with our own dopamine hit – which means more happy vibes! 

If you are ready to work towards your own personal spring cleaning – looking to bring new growth to your mind, body, and soul, turn to a therapist near you at Anchored Hope Counseling in Kannapolis, NC. Anchored Hope Counseling provides a wide range of therapy services from couples counseling to personal one-on-one sessions. View a list of our offerings online, or schedule a consultation today. If you liked these tips remember to subscribe  to our weekly blog for more news and insights.

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Discovering Healing at the Root

A reflection on why we should do the hard work to heal

By Meghan Ray, March 13 2024

Instant Gratification

When we look at today’s society, we see an influx in taking the easy way out. We are living in the generation of “right now” with instantaneous access to everything. You can google the name of that one guy in that one movie in a matter of seconds. I can have anything from books, clothing, groceries, and a Dunkin latte delivered in a matter of minutes. You no longer wait a week for the next episode of your favorite show to drop. Rather you binge an entire series in a matter of a few days. I can even “search find” a phrase of the bible in our ever handy bible apps instead of searching through the text firsthand. Instant gratification, contentment, happiness and knowledge. Everything happens right now and when I want. The time of waiting, working, and devoting time and energy, no longer defines our society. 

Application to Therapy

As a therapist, I see this in no better example than in the demand for instantaneous “healing” from our traumas, anxieties, depression, stressors – whatever is plaguing our mental health. We are all looking for a magical phrase or tactic that will change our lives and our emotions overnight. What’s difficult in working with a “right now” society is that healing is not instantaneous. Healing is hard, long, time consuming, and frustrating. It is only when we give it that time and hard work, that we actually get to the root of our problems and heal in a long term substantial way.

The Problem in Mental Health?

One of the biggest issues, to me, in the mentality of wanting right now healing, is the immediate turn to medication. While medication has a time and place in some situations, the chronic referral to medicate to address mental health is on the rise. We are living in the most medicated society of any other developed nation. Why? Because when I have a pill I can take each morning to “fix” my emotions and feelings, then I don’t have to do all the leg work therapy entails. I am “instantaneously” healed. Let me emphasize that there is nothing wrong with medication – it is a very useful tool to help regulate brain chemistry so that clients can be stable enough to do the leg work of therapy. However, when we are only pushing for medication and not therapy we are doing a disservice to our clients and their long term growth.

Turn from Shortcuts

It is in my nature as a therapist to turn my nose down to shortcuts in healing. Shortcuts don’t help us find the things that are plaguing our personal and generational problems. They don’t help us find coping skills and strategies to address these problems long term. Shortcuts don’t help us face the things that are difficult for us and make us grow within that uncomfortably. So whether you have been dealing with mental health issues for years or it something that has just come on to your radar, ask yourself – will instant gratification get me to long term happiness? Will taking the shortcut help me become and sustain the person I want to be?

If you or someone you know has gotten to the point that you are ready to heal from the root and promote a lifetime of sustained stability, turn to Anchored Hope Counseling in Kannapolis, NC. Anchored Hope Counseling provides a wide range of therapy services from couples counseling to personal one-on-one sessions. View a list of our offerings online, or schedule a consultation today. If you liked these tips remember to subscribe  to our weekly blog for more news and insights.

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Mental Health Reads For All The Book Lovers

A List of Fiction, Non-Fiction and Memoir Books About Mental Health 

January 19, 2024 by Meghan Ray

As the weather gets colder and the winter blues kick in, it’s the perfect time of year to curl up on the couch with a blanket and great book. Reading is proven to lower stress levels, build empathy and resilience, increase perspective taking, improve mental health and broaden emotional intelligence. Below is a recommended reading list that covers non fiction self help, fiction novels with intuitive mental health representation, and memoirs written by authors who have struggled with an array of mental health disorders either themselves or within their family of origin. It is my hope that as you read any of these titles below, you gain an appreciation for mental health topics while also working on your own mental health through the inherent process of reading. 

Non-Fiction/Self Help

Find Your People: Finding Deep Community in a Lonely World  – Jennie Allen 

• Christian author, Jennie Allen, explores the inherently lonely world we live in and discusses her vulnerable journey to finding community in a new town. She explores the type of christian relationships each woman should find in her life in order to enhance their lives and find the full wonder of christian community. 

Good Enough: 40ish Devotionals for a Life of Imperfection – Kate Bowler 

• Kate Bowler offers faith explorations on how we can make sense of life. This is a great book for when you want to start living your best life. Good Enough gives permission for all those who need to hear that there are some things you can fix—and some things you can’t. 
• EXTRA: If you are interested in meeting this author she will be in Greensboro, NC on January 24th and Charlotte, NC on January 29th!

Love Does: Discover a Secretly Incredible Life in an Ordinary World – Bob Goff

• Christian author Bob Goff tells his own story where each day turns into a hilarious, whimsical, meaningful chance that makes faith simple and real. Bob draws on his own life story to inspire us all to be more secretly incredible.

Out of the Cave: Stepping into the Light when Depression Darkens What You See – Chris Hodges

• Pastor Chris Hodges uses Elijah’s life to show us that everyone is susceptible to depression. Even when we’re walking closely with God, we can still stumble and get lost in the wilderness of tangled emotions. Out of the Cave helps us remove the stigma of depression and realize we’re not alone.

You’re Going to Be OK: 16 Lessons on Healing after Trauma – Madeline Popelka

• Madeline Popelka is a trauma survivor who knows first-hand how some survivors can feel like they’ve lost themselves to trauma. It might even seem impossible to find the upside of a devastating experience. After Madeline was diagnosed with PTSD and began to heal, she felt a need to create a space where other trauma survivors wouldn’t feel so isolated.

Fiction w/ Mental Health Representation

Please note that each of these books contains very heavy and possibly triggering content. Please note the content topics and proceed reading with caution and sensitivity.

The Woman in the Window – AJ Finn (Agoraphobia/Murder Thriller)

• Anna Fox lives alone, a recluse in her New York City home, unable to venture outside. But when Anna, gazing out her window one night, sees something she shouldn’t, her world begins to crumble. What is real? What is imagined? Who is in danger? Who is in control? In this diabolically gripping thriller, no one—and nothing—is what it seems. 

All the Ugly and Wonderful Things – Bryn Greenwood (Extreme Childhood Trauma/Inappropriate Child-Adult Relationships) 

• A beautiful and provocative love story between two unlikely people and the hard-won relationship that elevates them above the meth lab backdrop of their lives. As the daughter of a drug dealer, Wavy knows not to trust people, not even her own parents. Struggling to raise her little brother, Donal, eight-year-old Wavy is the only responsible adult around. Obsessed with the constellations, she finds peace in the starry night sky, until one night her stargazing causes an accident. After witnessing his motorcycle wreck, she forms an unusual friendship with one of her father’s thugs, Kellen, a tattooed ex-con with a heart of gold.

All the Bright Places – Jennifer Niven (Depression/Suicidal Ideation/Survivors Guilt)

• Theodore Finch is fascinated by death, and he constantly thinks of ways he might kill himself. But each time, something good, no matter how small, stops him. Violet Markey lives for the future, counting the days until graduation, when she can escape her Indiana town. When Finch and Violet meet on the ledge of the bell tower at school, it’s unclear who saves whom.

The Bell Jar – Sylvia Plath (Depression/Suicidal Ideation/Bipolar II) 

• The Bell Jar chronicles the crack-up of Esther Greenwood who is slowly going under—maybe for the last time. Sylvia Plath masterfully draws the reader into Esther’s breakdown with such intensity that Esther’s insanity becomes completely real and even rational.

Its Kind of a Funny Story – Ned Vizzini (Psychiatric Ward/Depression/Suicidal Ideation) 

• Ambitious New York City teenager Craig Gilner is determined to succeed at life – which means getting into the right high school to get into the right job. But once Craig aces his way into Manhattan’s Executive Pre-Professional High School, the pressure becomes unbearable. He stops eating and sleeping until, one night, he nearly kills himself.

Memoirs

Please note that each of these books contains very heavy and possibly triggering content. Please note the content topics and proceed reading with caution and sensitivity.

What my Bones Know: A Memoir of Healing from Complex Trauma – Stephanie Foo (Abandonment/Complex PTSD/Generational Trauma)

• In this deeply personal and thoroughly researched account, Foo interviews scientists and psychologists and tries a variety of innovative therapies. She returns to her hometown of San Jose, California, to investigate the effects of immigrant trauma on the community, and she uncovers family secrets in the country of her birth, Malaysia, to learn how trauma can be inherited through generations.

Maybe You Should Talk to Someone – Lori Gottlieb (Depression/OCD/Anxiety/Suicidal Ideation)

• One day, Lori Gottlieb is a therapist who helps patients in her Los Angeles practice. The next, a crisis causes her world to come crashing down. Maybe You Should Talk to Someone is revolutionary in its candor, offering a deeply personal yet universal tour of our hearts and minds and providing the rarest of gifts: a boldly revealing portrait of what it means to be human, and a disarmingly funny and illuminating account of our own mysterious lives and our power to transform them.

While You Were Out: An Intimate Family Portrait of Mental Illness in the Era of Silence – Meg Kissinger (Anxiety/Depression/Mania/Bipolar)

• While You Were Out begins as the personal story of one family’s struggles then opens outward, as Kissinger details how childhood tragedy catalyzed a journalism career focused on exposing our country’s flawed mental health care. Combining the intimacy of memoir with the rigor of investigative reporting, the book explores the consequences of shame, the havoc of botched public policy, and the hope offered by new treatment strategies.

Group: How One Therapist and a Circle of Strangers Saved My Life – Christie Tate (Suicidal Ideation/Eating Disorder/Sexual Trauma)

• Group is a deliciously addictive read, and with Christie as our guide—skeptical of her own capacity for connection and intimacy, but hopeful in spite of herself—we are given a front row seat to the daring, exhilarating, painful, and hilarious journey that is group therapy—an under-explored process that breaks you down, and then reassembles you so that all the pieces finally fit.

The Glass Castle – Jeannette Walls (Bipolar/Poverty/Neglect/Childhood Trauma)

• A remarkable memoir of resilience and redemption, and a revelatory look into a family at once deeply dysfunctional and uniquely vibrant. When sober, Jeannette’s brilliant father captured his children’s imagination. But when he drank, he was dishonest and destructive. Her mother was a free spirit who abhorred the idea of domesticity and didn’t want the responsibility of raising a family. The Walls children learned to take care of themselves. They fed, clothed, and protected one another, and eventually found their way to New York. Their parents followed them, choosing to be homeless even as their children prospered.

Looking to grow in your own mental health journey? Need someone to talk to about topics similar to those covered in any of these books? If so, turn to Anchored Hope Counseling in Kannapolis, NC. Anchored Hope Counseling provides a wide range of therapy services from couples counseling to personal one-on-one sessions. View a list of our offerings online, or schedule a consultation today. If you liked these tips remember to subscribe  to our weekly blog for more news and insights.

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Change of Perspective

Looking at Your Problems in a Different Way

The other day, my husband and I encountered a large problem with the permit of our house, which put our final inspections on hold. Instantly, when I heard of the problem, I went into the negative and dark place of “We will NEVER get to move into our new house” or “We will NEVER get out of this season.” However, when I noticed the “Nevers” consuming my mind, I took a moment to pray and realized that I needed a change of perspective. I needed to look at this problem in a different way. 

How do you typically respond to problems or obstacles?

People tend to be creatures of habit. We move along our day planning to stay in our normal routine. When our routine is broken, we are shaken and tend to view the shift as a negative obstacle or problem.

Typically, problems upset and frustrate us. We lash out at the difficulty, resenting it and feeling bad for ourselves. We even rush to complain about our problems to others so they can feel bad for us too. However, this path only leads to a road of self-pity. Complaining and seeking pity ultimately wastes our time and energy. Unfortunately, viewing obstacles in this way can turn your problems into mountains; the larger we make it, the more unmovable it becomes.

Alternatively, try viewing the problems as a ladder, not a mountain. A ladder provides an opportunity to see your problem from a higher view point; a different perspective. Looking up at your problems at the lowest level, they can look larger than they really are; like mountains. However, looking from above or the top of the ladder, you can gain a heavenly perspective. From above, your problems look smaller and insignificant to the whole picture. Looking down at the problem, you can see how momentary the problem is, see what comes after the problem, and begin to focus on what is ahead of you.

Ultimately, by shifting your perspective, you can look past the problem and continue down your path without wasting time and effort on self-pity. To change your perspective and turn your problems from mountains to ladders, try these 3 tips.

1. Silence the negative lies and look for the truth.

"Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” James 8:32 (NIV)

Is it true that I will NEVER finish my house? No, the truth is, that we have actually made considerable progress, worked hard, learned many lessons, and will eventually reap the rewards. Whenever, I am getting overwhelmed with negative thoughts, I have to stop and look for the logical truth. Often, that takes breaking down the lie and calmly re-framing the situation.

2. Show gratitude for the lesson

"Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness."  James 1:2-3 (ESV)

The book of James directs us to count our trials a joy because it produces an unwavering faith and character. In other words, our trials are blessings. Trust me, I know that being grateful for struggles is hard! However, by changing our perspective in the situation and looking past the moment, we can see how the trial can challenge us, help us grow, and strengthen our character.  Therefore, instead of spewing negative things like the “Nevers,” try statements of gratitude for the situation.

3. Persevere

"Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him." James 1:12 (NIV)

This verse from James reminds us to persevere and push through the trail because God has promised us a great reward if we do. Therefore, hold onto that  promise, remember God is with you every step of the way, and you will be rewarded for your perseverance.  Ultimately, looking past the obstacle to see the reward in the end can help you remained focused on tackling the problem.

If you have a problem and would like help changing your perspective on the situation, turn to Anchored Hope Counseling in Kannapolis, NC. Anchored Hope Counseling provides a wide range of therapy services from couples counseling to personal one-on-one sessions. View a list of our offerings online, or click here to schedule a consultation today. If you liked these tips remember to subscribe to our weekly blog for more news and insights.

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De-clutter Your Life: A Christian Perspective

For the past few weeks, I have taken a break from blogging. Why? I needed to take some time for spring cleaning. As many of you know, my husband and I are remodeling a 100 year old house. Whenever the house is finished, we will be downsizing tremendously. Unfortunately, downsizing also mean I need to de-clutter and clean out. Throughout this process, I have had to box up the essential items that we will be putting into our new home and selling or throwing out anything that is no longer needed. Before, I started this process, I always thought that I lived simply and never considered myself materialistic. However, the more I sort through cabinets and drawers, I am finding that I have still collected a ton of unnecessary things over the last decade and that I should have made it a point to de-clutter on a regular basis.

With all of the spring cleaning the past few weeks, I was reminded how our messy our lives can be when we forget to take time to de-clutter our lives and schedules and how “too much stuff” can be overwhelming to our mental and spiritual health. To find balance to your mental and spiritual health, here are 3 tips to de-clutter your life.

1. Get rid of the non-essentials:

Just like when you are spring cleaning, you have to start by sorting through the clutter and prioritize what needs to stay and what needs to go. Start this process by asking yourself the following questions.

 “What feels like too much in my life today?” 

“Do I have trouble getting rid of things I don’t use regularly “just in case” I need them later? Do these “just in case” items bless or burden me?”

“What is causing the most clutter in my life, possessions, over scheduling, or digital devices?”

“Does my stuff fit my space? Does it fit my needs and the needs of those who share my space? If not, what is one concrete step I can take this week toward eliminating physical clutter?

“What can I get rid of today to feel more peace?”

2. Stop putting your trust in stuff:

Matthew 6:19-21 states: “Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. 21For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also” (ESV).

Basically, this verse explains that our safety and security must not be rooted in material items because ultimately they do not last. Having the best stuff or most stuff does not make us better because those things have to always be replaced. Instead, this verse tells us to focus on our heavenly treasures by putting our focus on God and how we can live our life for him.

Remember, God doesn’t care for how many possessions we have and often chooses not to “bless” with an abundance of things; I don’t know about you, but my prayers to find $1,000,000 has never been answered! Instead He reminds us that possessions must never be our utmost concern, that our needs will be met and in return, he points us toward caring for others. The less stuff we have to manage, the more we can fulfill our purpose.

3. Take break from Technology:

Technology can be a blessing and a curse. On the one hand, I love to easily be able to reach people all over the world within minutes and quickly ordering from Amazon is often much faster and easier than going to the store. However, social media addiction, looking at our phones instead of our family, web surfing time warps, and the instant gratification of likes and followers, can consume and clutter our lives. As a result, de-cluttering our lives often means de-cluttering our digital devices. I am not saying you have to get rid of your smartphones and tablets, but you may need to evaluate your time on your devices to see if it is causing your life to be cluttered.

Back in January, I made the decision to completely delete social media off of my phone and any non-essential apps. By doing so, I felt freer and even found myself with more free time in the evenings. I didn’t realize how much time I spent mindlessly scrolling through apps on my phone. By this simple task, I was able to free my soul and made space for my family, real friendships, and rest.

Ultimately, remember that clutter doesn’t have to be physical things.  Work, family, housework, school, technology, and over committed calendars can lead to cluttered lives. This spring, take the opportunity to de-clutter your life through some spring cleaning. Little by little, you will learn what is truly essential in your life and will begin to let go of the non-essential “junk.” As a result, you will be able to reap the benefits of simplicity with calmer hearts, deeper relationships, and a joyful purpose.

If you want to de-clutter your life and need some help sorting through the essentials, turn to Anchored Hope Counseling in Kannapolis, NC. Anchored Hope Counseling provides a wide range of therapy services from couples counseling to personal one-on-one sessions. View a list of our offerings online, or click here to schedule a consultation today. If you liked these tips remember to subscribe to our weekly blog for more news and insights.

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Tools to Help You Climb out of Hopelessness and Depression

In a previous blog, I compared times of depression and hopelessness to a difficult hike. It helps me to persevere through difficult times when I shift my mindset and look for the reward and growth opportunities, instead of focusing on the struggle and pain. Now, I wanted to expand on that concept and share some tools that can help overcome hopelessness and depression.

To take on any big hike, you need to train and prepare. However, no matter how hard you train, you will struggle with your hike if you forget to bring the proper gear. You need the proper shoes and clothing, sturdy poles, a backpack, food, and other practical tools to help you along your journey. Just like going on a hike, there are common practical tools that can help you through your journey of stress, hopelessness, and depression. 

5 tools to help you with stress, hopelessness, and depression

1. Schedule time for relaxation.

Every good hiker will tell you make sure you take time to rest. When you push yourself to much on a hike, you can quickly burnout. The same is true when you are feeling stressed, hopeless or depressed. When you don’t take some time to truly relax and unwind in those moments, you can easily become tired and overwhelmed. To prevent this, schedule regular moments of relaxation; it can even be just 10 or 15 minutes. Try prayer or meditation time to help you feel more calm and centered. You can also listen to music, practice deep breathing, or even take a short nap.

2. Set Goals and Manage your time.

When it comes to hiking, you should take time to relax and enjoy your walk. However, too much relaxation can lead to a disaster. It is always suggested that when hiking you set goals and manage your time. Hikers map out their trails and set obtainable goals to get the best out of their hike. They want to make sure they make all the stops along the trail and camp at the best sites. To do that, they have to manage their time and set goals to make sure they stay on schedule.

Like rest, time management and goals also help prevent burnout. For example, if you spend all of your time taking it slow in the beginning of a hike, you end up pushing yourself too much at the end. This is true for our daily life as well. If we procrastinate or don’t manage our time properly, we push ourselves too much last minute; putting even more stress and worry on ourselves.  When everything feels hopeless, try setting small goals and steps to achieve them; create a hope map or create a realistic ‘to do’ list and delegate appropriate responsibilities to yourself and household.

3. Create or make time for fun activities.

I love watching families with small children hike because I love to see the fun and creative ways parents will make the climb fun for their kids. Usually, they play an “I spy” game or collect fun things from nature to take home for crafts. One of my personal hobbies is photography and, for me, one the best reasons to go on a hike is to get great pictures of the scenery.

On top of that, stopping along the way to get pictures takes my mind off the tiredness. Just like in hiking, hobbies and other fun activities can take away the stress we are facing, they give us something to look forward to, and even take our mind off of our circumstances. Therefore, when you start to feel depressed or hopeless, take some time out for fun and your favorite hobby. You can also try journaling, playing a game, or spending time with your pets.

4. Make sure you are taking care of yourself.

If a pro-hiker were to give you advice for your big hike, they would probably tell you to get plenty of rest and eat healthy the day before and make sure you pack plenty of healthy high carb and protein snacks for your journey. Nothing is worse than a restless night and a heavy, fatty meal right before a big hike. That combination will do nothing but make you sluggish and slow on your hike. On top of that, not packing the right food for you hike can also ruin your energy levels and make it harder to continue the journey.

This can happen in your daily life as well. While, to me nothing is better than a good burger or ice cream, I know that if I ate that all the time, I would start to feel sluggish, tired, and unmotivated. In times of hopelessness, how we treat our bodies can have a great impact on how we feel. Therefore, when you are feeling down, practice self-care by eating balanced meals, getting at least 30 minutes of exercise a day, and getting at least seven hours of sleep each night.

5. Socialize

One of my favorite things about hiking is the people you would meet along the journey. Every hiker I have ever encountered has been friendly, helpful, and encouraging. Their support and kindness always seemed to push me to keep going. In life we need those kind words and encouragement from the people that we meet along the journey. If Covid-19 has taught us anything, it has taught us how isolation can bring on feelings of hopelessness and depression. We need to stay connected to our loved ones, even when we feel stressed or down. They build us up and help take our mind off of our troubles. In times of hopelessness, find ways to connect to others. Try having meaningful conversations with a friend, find fun activities to do with family or friends, go out for a meal with a loved one, or participate in spiritual activities with others. 

At the end of the day, if you still feel like the mountain of depression and hopelessness is still too hard to climb, reach out to Anchored Hope Counseling today. Anchored Hope Counseling provides a wide range of therapy services from couples counseling to personal one-on-one sessions. View a list of their offerings online, or click here to schedule a consultation today. Also, if you found this post to be helpful, remember to share it with others and subscribe for more insights and news each week.

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