Turning on the Light
How to find hope in Dark Times: My Personal Account
At the beginning of October, Meghan wrote a blog about the devastation that Western North Carolina had experienced and how we should Anchor our Hope in Christ. It was a great post, and I wanted to expand on it, giving my personal account.
While I don’t live there, a part of my heart belongs to the North Carolina Mountains. Some of my fondest memories happened in the western part of North Carolina; including my engagement and wedding. Like many others, I cried when I saw the pictures and videos of the devastation and loss that occurred with Helene. I grieved the loss of hundreds of lives, beautiful communities, homes, and landscapes.
Then I saw an update from our friends at Brown Mountain Beach Resort, the place where I was married, my favorite spot in the North Carolina mountains. The video started with “we are not ok…” and my friend, battered and shaken explaining the devastation and loss he had just experienced. They almost lost their lives. They lost all of their possessions and home had to be gutted due to the 25 inches of rain and mud that filled it. Their business, a beautiful wedding venue was devastated. Their parent’s home had washed off its foundation. My heart broke as I watched and waited for more updates.
As I grieved, all I could think about was, how can I help? Questions filled my mind as I tried to make plans and answer the call to help. What can I do? I am at least 7 hours away. All roads are closed. They said to stay away. Stores are selling out of supplies. I have a toddler. I can’t help the way that I used to because it is difficult to serve while you chase a toddler around. Plus, it could be dangerous, and we can’t just sleep in a car or in a tent with our little girl.
My husband and I wanted to help as many as we could if we were going to make the journey up to the mountains. So, we spent about a week reaching out to friends and churches, gathering supplies and deciding the first place we needed to help was our friends. Our friends have 3 adopted children that live at home. We wanted to help them and bring them something special. Their oldest daughter is a big Harry Potter fan, so I ordered a shirt for her. The quote on the shirt said this:
"Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light" -- Albus Dumbledore
As I looked at that shirt, I thought about that quote and if a 13-year-old girl who had just experienced tremendous darkness would be able to “find the light.” I thought, is there light in this darkness? Can someone find peace and hope in the disaster? If so, where is the light?
I prayed about these questions as my family and I headed into the mountains, not knowing what to expect. We weren’t sure if we could make it to our friends with all of the roads closed. We weren’t sure where we would sleep. We didn’t know if we could find enough gasoline to get back home; or if we could help or just be in the way. We were afraid that our daughter could handle the trip and we we questioned if we could be gone for more than just a few days. However, followed our hearts and took a chance.
On this journey, we saw the incredible of love and community. We saw strangers helping each other and sacrificing for their neighbors. We saw incredible resilience and an abundance of Grace. Through all of this, our anxieties were worked out. We had a comfortable place to sleep. Our daughter has thrived and loved being in the place as much as we do. We got the chance to hug our friends, cry with them, pray with them, and help them rebuild. We stayed for more than just a few days and were with them for almost 2 weeks. In our experience, we found and “turned on the light.”
So what is the light?
Jesus is the Light!
“Again Jesus spoke to them, saying, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.” (John 8:12 ESV)
With every story of survival from this storm, you hear of hope, grace, and God’s mercy. There are testimonies of protection. There are stories of faith and hope; of people trusting that God will continue to be with them as they rebuild their lives. Cling to these stories and seek to find Jesus in your trial. As you do this, you will be filled with the light of Jesus and can face any storm with peace. If you are struggling to find Jesus in your storm, check out this blog written by Gordon Dasher; it is a great personal testimony from someone from western North Carolina.
My Christian brothers and sisters, YOU are the light!
“You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden.” (Matthew 5:14 NIV)
Brothers and Sisters in Christ, if we want to see light in the darkest hour, WE must turn it on. We are the hands and feet of Jesus. We are filled with the Holy Spirit. It is our responsibility to help those in need, to show the light to the world. We were blessed to witness the love of Jesus through the service of others during our time in the mountains. However, it doesn’t need to stop now that the devastation is not shown daily in the news.
The road to recovery will be long and difficult. The need will continue for months for some, and years for others. And for those who lost loved ones in the tragedy, grief could be experienced for their entire lifetime. We need to come together and continue to show love to those in need daily. There are many resources on how you can help others during this difficult time. For some of those resources, please check out Meghan’s previous blog here.
At Anchored Hope Counseling, we want to also offer our help to anyone who was affected by Helene. If you or someone you know is struggling with the impacts of Hurricane Helene or any other season of suffering, turn to Anchored Hope Counseling in Kannapolis, NC. Anchored Hope Counseling provides a wide range of therapy services from couples counseling to personal one-on-one sessions. View a list of our offerings online, or schedule a consultation today. If you liked these tips remember to subscribe to our weekly blog for more news and insights. You can also find us on Facebook and Instagram.
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Join Our Team!
We are hiring NC Licensed Therapists/Counselors
Join our team and be a part of what the Lord is doing at Anchored Hope Counseling! Anchored Hope Counseling, PLLC is expanding our practice located in Kannapolis, NC. Serving individuals ( of all ages), couples, and families, we are seeking a part-time or full-time contractor therapist (for virtual and in-person) with experience and specialty in any of the following areas: children, adolescents, adults, couples, or trauma. This position offers great flexibility of hours!
Join us for a work experience that is life-giving as you serve alongside a professional staff who are passionate about Jesus, people, and Christian mental health care. At Anchored Hope Counseling, we desire our work to have eternal significance and influence.
Specific responsibilities include:
- Provide expert care to each client showing compassion in all encounters.
- Respond to all potential and existing clients promptly; conduct complimentary 15-minute phone consultations to determine client needs.
- Conduct thorough intake assessment, develop and update treatment plans. · Document case sessions and other communications promptly in the EHR system
- Maintain professional conduct within the community and on social media.
- Maintain ethical standards defined by the American Counseling Association and the American Association of Christian Counselors.
- Maintain licensing in good standing
Qualifications:
- Applicants must be fully or provisionally licensed in the state of North Carolina, and have experience providing counseling to children, teens, couples and individuals.
- Must have desire/experience integrating Christian counseling in alignment with organization values.
- Experience working with children and couples desired but not necessary
- If needed, on-site supervision is provided for LCMHCAs.
Please, send your resume and cover letter to Stevi Reed, LCMHC, QS, NCC at stevi@anchored-hope.com
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Mental Health Reads For All The Book Lovers
A List of Fiction, Non-Fiction and Memoir Books About Mental Health
January 19, 2024 by Meghan Ray
As the weather gets colder and the winter blues kick in, it’s the perfect time of year to curl up on the couch with a blanket and great book. Reading is proven to lower stress levels, build empathy and resilience, increase perspective taking, improve mental health and broaden emotional intelligence. Below is a recommended reading list that covers non fiction self help, fiction novels with intuitive mental health representation, and memoirs written by authors who have struggled with an array of mental health disorders either themselves or within their family of origin. It is my hope that as you read any of these titles below, you gain an appreciation for mental health topics while also working on your own mental health through the inherent process of reading.
Non-Fiction/Self Help
Find Your People: Finding Deep Community in a Lonely World – Jennie Allen
- Christian author, Jennie Allen, explores the inherently lonely world we live in and discusses her vulnerable journey to finding community in a new town. She explores the type of christian relationships each woman should find in her life in order to enhance their lives and find the full wonder of christian community.
Good Enough: 40ish Devotionals for a Life of Imperfection – Kate Bowler
- Kate Bowler offers faith explorations on how we can make sense of life. This is a great book for when you want to start living your best life. Good Enough gives permission for all those who need to hear that there are some things you can fix—and some things you can’t.
- EXTRA: If you are interested in meeting this author she will be in Greensboro, NC on January 24th and Charlotte, NC on January 29th!
Love Does: Discover a Secretly Incredible Life in an Ordinary World – Bob Goff
- Christian author Bob Goff tells his own story where each day turns into a hilarious, whimsical, meaningful chance that makes faith simple and real. Bob draws on his own life story to inspire us all to be more secretly incredible.
Out of the Cave: Stepping into the Light when Depression Darkens What You See – Chris Hodges
- Pastor Chris Hodges uses Elijah’s life to show us that everyone is susceptible to depression. Even when we’re walking closely with God, we can still stumble and get lost in the wilderness of tangled emotions. Out of the Cave helps us remove the stigma of depression and realize we’re not alone.
You’re Going to Be OK: 16 Lessons on Healing after Trauma – Madeline Popelka
- Madeline Popelka is a trauma survivor who knows first-hand how some survivors can feel like they’ve lost themselves to trauma. It might even seem impossible to find the upside of a devastating experience. After Madeline was diagnosed with PTSD and began to heal, she felt a need to create a space where other trauma survivors wouldn’t feel so isolated.
Fiction w/ Mental Health Representation
Please note that each of these books contains very heavy and possibly triggering content. Please note the content topics and proceed reading with caution and sensitivity.
The Woman in the Window – AJ Finn (Agoraphobia/Murder Thriller)
- Anna Fox lives alone, a recluse in her New York City home, unable to venture outside. But when Anna, gazing out her window one night, sees something she shouldn’t, her world begins to crumble. What is real? What is imagined? Who is in danger? Who is in control? In this diabolically gripping thriller, no one—and nothing—is what it seems.
All the Ugly and Wonderful Things – Bryn Greenwood (Extreme Childhood Trauma/Inappropriate Child-Adult Relationships)
- A beautiful and provocative love story between two unlikely people and the hard-won relationship that elevates them above the meth lab backdrop of their lives. As the daughter of a drug dealer, Wavy knows not to trust people, not even her own parents. Struggling to raise her little brother, Donal, eight-year-old Wavy is the only responsible adult around. Obsessed with the constellations, she finds peace in the starry night sky, until one night her stargazing causes an accident. After witnessing his motorcycle wreck, she forms an unusual friendship with one of her father’s thugs, Kellen, a tattooed ex-con with a heart of gold.
All the Bright Places – Jennifer Niven (Depression/Suicidal Ideation/Survivors Guilt)
- Theodore Finch is fascinated by death, and he constantly thinks of ways he might kill himself. But each time, something good, no matter how small, stops him. Violet Markey lives for the future, counting the days until graduation, when she can escape her Indiana town. When Finch and Violet meet on the ledge of the bell tower at school, it’s unclear who saves whom.
The Bell Jar – Sylvia Plath (Depression/Suicidal Ideation/Bipolar II)
- The Bell Jar chronicles the crack-up of Esther Greenwood who is slowly going under—maybe for the last time. Sylvia Plath masterfully draws the reader into Esther’s breakdown with such intensity that Esther’s insanity becomes completely real and even rational.
Its Kind of a Funny Story – Ned Vizzini (Psychiatric Ward/Depression/Suicidal Ideation)
- Ambitious New York City teenager Craig Gilner is determined to succeed at life – which means getting into the right high school to get into the right job. But once Craig aces his way into Manhattan’s Executive Pre-Professional High School, the pressure becomes unbearable. He stops eating and sleeping until, one night, he nearly kills himself.
Memoirs
Please note that each of these books contains very heavy and possibly triggering content. Please note the content topics and proceed reading with caution and sensitivity.
What my Bones Know: A Memoir of Healing from Complex Trauma – Stephanie Foo (Abandonment/Complex PTSD/Generational Trauma)
- In this deeply personal and thoroughly researched account, Foo interviews scientists and psychologists and tries a variety of innovative therapies. She returns to her hometown of San Jose, California, to investigate the effects of immigrant trauma on the community, and she uncovers family secrets in the country of her birth, Malaysia, to learn how trauma can be inherited through generations.
Maybe You Should Talk to Someone – Lori Gottlieb (Depression/OCD/Anxiety/Suicidal Ideation)
- One day, Lori Gottlieb is a therapist who helps patients in her Los Angeles practice. The next, a crisis causes her world to come crashing down. Maybe You Should Talk to Someone is revolutionary in its candor, offering a deeply personal yet universal tour of our hearts and minds and providing the rarest of gifts: a boldly revealing portrait of what it means to be human, and a disarmingly funny and illuminating account of our own mysterious lives and our power to transform them.
While You Were Out: An Intimate Family Portrait of Mental Illness in the Era of Silence – Meg Kissinger (Anxiety/Depression/Mania/Bipolar)
- While You Were Out begins as the personal story of one family’s struggles then opens outward, as Kissinger details how childhood tragedy catalyzed a journalism career focused on exposing our country’s flawed mental health care. Combining the intimacy of memoir with the rigor of investigative reporting, the book explores the consequences of shame, the havoc of botched public policy, and the hope offered by new treatment strategies.
Group: How One Therapist and a Circle of Strangers Saved My Life – Christie Tate (Suicidal Ideation/Eating Disorder/Sexual Trauma)
- Group is a deliciously addictive read, and with Christie as our guide—skeptical of her own capacity for connection and intimacy, but hopeful in spite of herself—we are given a front row seat to the daring, exhilarating, painful, and hilarious journey that is group therapy—an under-explored process that breaks you down, and then reassembles you so that all the pieces finally fit.
The Glass Castle – Jeannette Walls (Bipolar/Poverty/Neglect/Childhood Trauma)
- A remarkable memoir of resilience and redemption, and a revelatory look into a family at once deeply dysfunctional and uniquely vibrant. When sober, Jeannette’s brilliant father captured his children’s imagination. But when he drank, he was dishonest and destructive. Her mother was a free spirit who abhorred the idea of domesticity and didn’t want the responsibility of raising a family. The Walls children learned to take care of themselves. They fed, clothed, and protected one another, and eventually found their way to New York. Their parents followed them, choosing to be homeless even as their children prospered.
Looking to grow in your own mental health journey? Need someone to talk to about topics similar to those covered in any of these books? If so, turn to Anchored Hope Counseling in Kannapolis, NC. Anchored Hope Counseling provides a wide range of therapy services from couples counseling to personal one-on-one sessions. View a list of our offerings online, or schedule a consultation today. If you liked these tips remember to subscribe to our weekly blog for more news and insights.
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Remember America
A Reflection of September 11, 2001
It’s been a long time since I wrote a blog. Life has been crazy with moving, remodeling, and many other life changes. However, today, it was important for me to take time and reflect on the 20th anniversary of September 11, 2001. Even though you will see many posts today you on reflection and remembrance, I wanted to take the time honor all those affected by sharing what I will never forget about that day and what I hope Americans will always remember.
The terror attacks on Sept. 11, 2001 forever changed our country like few events ever have, or ever will. Even after 20 years, I will never forget watching the second plane fly into the South Tower with my 8th grade classmates. I will never forget the feeling of terror and heartbreak watching people climb out of the rubble, carrying those who didn’t make it. I will never forget the tears and fear that day.
However, what I remember most about that day was not the shock and terror. It was the unity in the moments and days that followed. I remember being amazed at how an act of terror that was supposed to bring our country to its knees actually made American stronger. We stood united to help those in need. I was in awe of those on Flight 93 who sacrificed their lives to save others. In New York, I remember seeing ordinary citizens in business attire helping first responders pull people from the rubble. In rural North Carolina, you couldn’t drive anywhere without seeing an American flag flying, some even painted their lawns or roof with the “Red, White, and Blue.” Even middle school students put their differences aside and prayed together, helped each other, and shifted their focus on helping in some way. Everywhere you looked, there was amazing amounts of strength, compassion, patriotism, and unity. In the darkest of days, American’s looked beyond labels and stereotypes and just saw each other as American’s, united to honor our fallen and protect our freedom.
These incredible acts of compassion and strength inspired me, and at age 13, taught me what it truly meant to be an American. I understood the importance of my freedoms and how truly blessed I was to be born in the UNITED States of America. For the first time in my life, I saw what true unity looked like and why Americans must always remember to “Stand United.”
Sadly, despite all of the “never forget” posts you will see, I feel that American’s have forgotten to remember the most important part about September 11, 2001. We have forgotten the unity and the compassion for others, despite our differences. Our country seems to be the most divided it has been since the Civil War. Families are splitting over political differences. First responders who were once applauded for their service and courage, are now being called to terminate or de-fund their agencies. Finally, in a country that once valued freedom of choice, speech, and religion, individuals are being “canceled” when they step outside the “norm” or simply just make a mistake.
It is heartbreaking to see how far we have come in 20 years, but I still have a faith and love in this country. I pray that we can stand united again, despite all differences, just to show compassion and love to our fellow countrymen. Therefore my hope, as we reflect on this milestone anniversary, that all American’s will unite and recall the characteristics of this nation that allowed us to rise above the fear and become a stronger nation.
“…I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.” (Ephesians 4:1-3 NIV)
Looking for a Treasure When You Feel Defeated
For over a year now, my husband and I have been working on completely refurbishing a 100 year old mill house. We have been doing most of the work ourselves and expected the project to be done within 8 months. However, the process has been much longer than we expected and there are days when we want to give up in defeat.
The moments of “what did we get ourselves into” started early in the process and almost every day it felt like we will never get to move into our new home. Each time we walk in, the feeling of being overwhelmed and defeated would crash into us.
To keep from losing our sanity and giving up, we had to develop a strategy to fight discouragement and defeat. This strategy came into play during the first weeks of the remodel process…”demo day” (which was not as fun as Chip Gaines makes it seem since it really lasted more than a week).
For us, Labor day weekend 2019 was spent in a 100 year old abandoned house, tearing down walls, ceilings, and ripping up pea green shag carpet in 100 degree heat. Covered in dust, soot, and sweat, I said to my husband, “It would be amazing if we found a treasure in the wall. It would make all of this worth it.” Just then, as I pulled the drywall down, I found a tiny wood cross in between the 100 year old beams. While to some this would be worthless, it was a reminder to me as a Christian of the greatest treasure I will ever receive–God’s love and grace.
With that tiny cross, God reminded me that His love can help me overcome any obstacle I may face. With that reminder, that tiny cross gave me a restored hope and the ability to keep moving forward. As I looked at that little cross in my hand, I realized that if all we see is what is against us, then we will remain in a prison of discouragement and defeat. However, when we seek the treasure hidden in our suffering, we break free from defeat and can find hope in a better tomorrow
So now, whenever I feel discouraged, weary, or overwhelmed, I try to remember the cross, my personal anchor of hope.
If you are in a storm of defeat, I want to challenge you to look for the small treasure in the storm; something positive to anchor your hope to. By doing that, you may find the strength you need to carry on.
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Here is my treasure, the little white cross found in the mess of defeat.
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