Discovering Healing at the Root
A reflection on why we should do the hard work to heal
By Meghan Ray, March 13 2024
Instant Gratification
When we look at today’s society, we see an influx in taking the easy way out. We are living in the generation of “right now” with instantaneous access to everything. You can google the name of that one guy in that one movie in a matter of seconds. I can have anything from books, clothing, groceries, and a Dunkin latte delivered in a matter of minutes. You no longer wait a week for the next episode of your favorite show to drop. Rather you binge an entire series in a matter of a few days. I can even “search find” a phrase of the bible in our ever handy bible apps instead of searching through the text firsthand. Instant gratification, contentment, happiness and knowledge. Everything happens right now and when I want. The time of waiting, working, and devoting time and energy, no longer defines our society.
Application to Therapy
As a therapist, I see this in no better example than in the demand for instantaneous “healing” from our traumas, anxieties, depression, stressors – whatever is plaguing our mental health. We are all looking for a magical phrase or tactic that will change our lives and our emotions overnight. What’s difficult in working with a “right now” society is that healing is not instantaneous. Healing is hard, long, time consuming, and frustrating. It is only when we give it that time and hard work, that we actually get to the root of our problems and heal in a long term substantial way.
The Problem in Mental Health?
One of the biggest issues, to me, in the mentality of wanting right now healing, is the immediate turn to medication. While medication has a time and place in some situations, the chronic referral to medicate to address mental health is on the rise. We are living in the most medicated society of any other developed nation. Why? Because when I have a pill I can take each morning to “fix” my emotions and feelings, then I don’t have to do all the leg work therapy entails. I am “instantaneously” healed. Let me emphasize that there is nothing wrong with medication – it is a very useful tool to help regulate brain chemistry so that clients can be stable enough to do the leg work of therapy. However, when we are only pushing for medication and not therapy we are doing a disservice to our clients and their long term growth.
Turn from Shortcuts
It is in my nature as a therapist to turn my nose down to shortcuts in healing. Shortcuts don’t help us find the things that are plaguing our personal and generational problems. They don’t help us find coping skills and strategies to address these problems long term. Shortcuts don’t help us face the things that are difficult for us and make us grow within that uncomfortably. So whether you have been dealing with mental health issues for years or it something that has just come on to your radar, ask yourself – will instant gratification get me to long term happiness? Will taking the shortcut help me become and sustain the person I want to be?
If you or someone you know has gotten to the point that you are ready to heal from the root and promote a lifetime of sustained stability, turn to Anchored Hope Counseling in Kannapolis, NC. Anchored Hope Counseling provides a wide range of therapy services from couples counseling to personal one-on-one sessions. View a list of our offerings online, or schedule a consultation today. If you liked these tips remember to subscribe to our weekly blog for more news and insights.
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Shining a Light on the Broken Past
Thanks to the Goonies and Indiana Jones, my husband and I love to explore old abandoned places; anything from ancient ruins and castles to abandoned farm houses lost in woods of North Carolina. To us, if it is old, dirty, and a little dangerous, we are going in to explore it. To some, we seem adventurous and to many, we seem a little crazy…”Why would anyone risk their life just to walk through an old abandoned building?” those people tend to ask.
Usually, when people ask me that question I respond with a smile and say we are treasure hunters or that we should have been archeologists. However, lately (after watching many episodes of Expedition Unknown—thank you Discovery+), I have realized that there is more beauty in our hobby than I ever realized.
Lately, I have reminisced about the many times we crawled through dark, abandoned doorways, past spiders and other critters I try not to think about. Each time, we would pull out our flashlights and shine a light on the forgotten past of this once thriving structure. Usually, our goal is to look past the mess, slime and critters to uncover a treasure left behind or clues and a connection to a long-lost life.
Through my reminiscing, I was reminded about shame and how devastating it can be on our life. Shame is like the rust, dirt, or vines that can eat at on old building; causing it to slowly crumble away. We may try to bury it and abandon it, but usually the mess begins to rot the structure until it is so damaged that it is uninhabitable. As it begins to collapse or fall away, it becomes unrecognizable and the things that remained inside become lost.
As hard as we may try to bury our shame and keep it from the light, somehow it always seems to creep its way out of the cracks and the light exposes it. Other times, it stays hidden until someone who is too curious (or cares, however you want to look at it) trespasses into our lives and shines a bright flashlight directly on our shame, guilt, or sin.
Shining a light on shame is hard. You see the rot, the mess, and the destruction. The damage can be scary and even a little dangerous to those who discover it. However, if you persevere through the darkness, and shine light on all the corners, you may discover the connection to the past that you once lost and longed for. You may find the hidden treasure in the room or realize that what was in the dark isn’t as scary as you once thought. Hopefully, after time exploring in the light, you find that the healing power of the light is better than letting everything fall away in the darkness.
The great thing about explorers and archeologists, is that when they find an abandoned structure, they see beauty and want to reveal its history to the world. They clear away the mess and begin to rebuild the structure back to its former glory. Amazingly, they don’t just tear it down and start fresh. They use what is there and preserve it. They clean and fix it. They restore it and make it stronger. In the end, it is just as beautiful as it once was, stronger, and more cherished.
If you have a secret shame that has been destroying you from the inside out, I want to encourage you to seek the light, find your connection to the past, clear away the mess, and find healing and restoration. Please know that I understand that this process is hard, but there is good news, you don’t have to do it alone! At Anchored Hope Counseling, I can help you explore the shame, find the light you need, and help you restore yourself to what you always wanted to be.
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