Shift Your Mindset in Times of Hopelessness
During times of hopelessness and depression, I have this bad habit of asking questions like, “Why does everything have to be so difficult?” or “Why can’t things just go the way I planned?” In reality, there is nothing wrong with asking questions like that out of frustration. We all need to vent sometimes. However, I have to try not to ask questions like that too often because asking “why” tends to keep me focused on the negative aspects of the situation. Instead, when I am frustrated or feeling hopeless, I try to shift my mindset and look at the bigger picture and find opportunities of growth. To do this, it helps me to compare my frustrating situation to hiking.
As I mentioned in a previous post, my husband and I love to explore. Sometimes, our explorations involve hiking trails. While my husband is a hiking pro, I struggle a little with the incline. I get out of breath and occasionally feel like I may just pass out from exhaustion. However, the exhaustion, pain, and sweat are always worth it once I reach the top and enjoy the most magnificent and peaceful views imaginable.
As a Christian, God has called me to the mountaintop to enjoy the most incredible view with Him. However, as much as I want to join Him right away, there is a catch. In order to get to the top, I have climb the mountain. On top of that, any hiker will tell you that you can’t just climb a mountain without preparation. It requires training and the proper gear to successfully make it to the top.
The hike to the top is not meant to be easy. In fact, the struggle makes it worth it. Any hiker will also tell you that the view from the top of a difficult hike is much better than the easy, “drive right up views.” Those views are often littered with cars, trash, and packed with tourists. On the other hand, the difficult hikes are quiet, peaceful, and pure. Basically, if we want to enjoy the peace of the mountaintop, we have to go through the training and we have to experience the struggle of the climb.
By comparing daily struggles to hiking, I have found that it is the struggles of life that refine us to better versions of ourselves. I believe that we are all created for a specific purpose, and with purpose comes preparation. We are not born with the strengths and skills we need to fulfill our purpose, which means each of our paths will include struggles of mistakes and missteps.
During those frustrating moments, it helps to remember a hike and change our question from “why?” to “how?” We change our mindset when we stop focusing on the lamenting “why” questions and instead chose to ask, “How can I grow from this situation.”
Ultimately, when everything seems hopeless and the climb seems too difficult, remember that trials are intended to increase our perseverance, strengthen our character, and renew our hope. You only get to enjoy the peace of the mountaintop when you allow the climb to make you stronger.
At the end of the day, if you still feel like the mountain of depression and hopelessness is still too hard to climb, reach out to Anchored Hope Counseling today. Anchored Hope Counseling provides a wide range of therapy services from couples counseling to personal one-on-one sessions. View a list of their offerings online, or click here to schedule a consultation today. Also, if you found this post to be helpful, remember to share it with others and subscribe for more insights and news each week.
Learn More“Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, 3 for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. 4 And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.” (James 1:2-4 ESV).
Making Hope-Filled Plans When Everything Seems Hopeless
Just about everyone makes some sort of promise to themselves with the coming of a New Year: get in better shape, lose a few pounds, or maybe break a bad habit. Then…by February, most—if not all—of the plans and resolutions seem abandoned. Often, when we do not meet our goals, we let the “feelings of failing” get us down. It causes us to lose faith in ourselves, our bigger goals, and our vision for our life. After, 2020—a year of unmet plans due to a worldwide pandemic—it can almost seem scarier to make plans out of fear that there is no way they will be met. However, I want to encourage you not to give up on setting goals and keep working hard to meet them. Goals just don’t help us measure progress, they also give us a sense of hope, direction, and motivation. Goals create momentum, generate activities, and also help us to stay focused during difficult times.
Making an Anchored “Hope” Map
If you have a vision but need help with the goals, try making an Anchored “Hope” Map, like the one below. Hope has been known to expand thinking and fuel persistence. In fact, how you think about the future determines your success in work, relationships, school, and life. High levels of hope leads to an increase in positive workplace outcomes, gains in academic performance, and increased happiness. A hope map can help you plan out your goals in a hope-filled way, so you can see your goals in a different light.
Let’s make up for 2020 and bring more hope into 2021 by seeing our plans met this year.
At the end of the day, if you still feel like you can’t find hope in your situation, reach out to Anchored Hope Counseling today. Anchored Hope Counseling provides a wide range of therapy services from couples counseling to personal one-on-one sessions. View a list of their offerings online, or click here to schedule a consultation today. Also, if you found this post to be helpful, remember to share it with others and subscribe for more insights and news each week.
Download the Anchored Hope Map here.
“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11 ESV
Shining a Light on the Broken Past
Thanks to the Goonies and Indiana Jones, my husband and I love to explore old abandoned places; anything from ancient ruins and castles to abandoned farm houses lost in woods of North Carolina. To us, if it is old, dirty, and a little dangerous, we are going in to explore it. To some, we seem adventurous and to many, we seem a little crazy…”Why would anyone risk their life just to walk through an old abandoned building?” those people tend to ask.
Usually, when people ask me that question I respond with a smile and say we are treasure hunters or that we should have been archeologists. However, lately (after watching many episodes of Expedition Unknown—thank you Discovery+), I have realized that there is more beauty in our hobby than I ever realized.
Lately, I have reminisced about the many times we crawled through dark, abandoned doorways, past spiders and other critters I try not to think about. Each time, we would pull out our flashlights and shine a light on the forgotten past of this once thriving structure. Usually, our goal is to look past the mess, slime and critters to uncover a treasure left behind or clues and a connection to a long-lost life.
Through my reminiscing, I was reminded about shame and how devastating it can be on our life. Shame is like the rust, dirt, or vines that can eat at on old building; causing it to slowly crumble away. We may try to bury it and abandon it, but usually the mess begins to rot the structure until it is so damaged that it is uninhabitable. As it begins to collapse or fall away, it becomes unrecognizable and the things that remained inside become lost.
As hard as we may try to bury our shame and keep it from the light, somehow it always seems to creep its way out of the cracks and the light exposes it. Other times, it stays hidden until someone who is too curious (or cares, however you want to look at it) trespasses into our lives and shines a bright flashlight directly on our shame, guilt, or sin.
Shining a light on shame is hard. You see the rot, the mess, and the destruction. The damage can be scary and even a little dangerous to those who discover it. However, if you persevere through the darkness, and shine light on all the corners, you may discover the connection to the past that you once lost and longed for. You may find the hidden treasure in the room or realize that what was in the dark isn’t as scary as you once thought. Hopefully, after time exploring in the light, you find that the healing power of the light is better than letting everything fall away in the darkness.
The great thing about explorers and archeologists, is that when they find an abandoned structure, they see beauty and want to reveal its history to the world. They clear away the mess and begin to rebuild the structure back to its former glory. Amazingly, they don’t just tear it down and start fresh. They use what is there and preserve it. They clean and fix it. They restore it and make it stronger. In the end, it is just as beautiful as it once was, stronger, and more cherished.
If you have a secret shame that has been destroying you from the inside out, I want to encourage you to seek the light, find your connection to the past, clear away the mess, and find healing and restoration. Please know that I understand that this process is hard, but there is good news, you don’t have to do it alone! At Anchored Hope Counseling, I can help you explore the shame, find the light you need, and help you restore yourself to what you always wanted to be.
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