Emotions Are Biblical
As a professor in psychology and a Christian therapist, I spend a lot of time educating people on what emotions are. At the start of my career, a student bought me a feeling-wheel pillow which now lives on my therapy couch. That pillow is the most talked about item in my office. It proves that the experience of emotions is so inherently human, and also wildly misunderstood.
A true lesson on the intellectual understanding of an emotion would take far more than a blog post, but here’s a crash course. The secular psychological definition of emotions is an outward response or inner feeling to our own personal perceptions (not circumstances). It is our thoughts and views of specific circumstances that dictates how we then think, process, and respond.
As you can imagine from my choice of career, I love emotions. I find them to be such a fascinating intellectual concept. For most of my clients, however, they are a pesky, complex experience. An experience that defines both the greatest joys and the deepest sadness’s of their lives. Emotions also lead to the undesirable experience of vulnerability.
Failed Understanding of Emotions
When we are little, we learn about emotions – what they are, how to identify them, how to express them – from our parents, teachers, preachers and social influences. Sometimes, through that learned experience, we do not learn how to emotionally regulate – the idea of managing, expressing, and processing our feelings in a healthy, acceptable way.
Plus, with the insurgence of gentle parenting, we are seeing a generation of young adults who not only don’t know how to regulate, but that expect that their feelings be validated in every situation. Validated – not honored for existing. Emotions exist and are good indicators of what our own perceptions are, but they are not always accurate to a situation or set of behavior choices. It’s why many in my field believe that teaching emotions as honorable but not valid is a necessity.
Furthermore, some of us grow up to believe that some feelings are bad because of the expectations around our gender (boys don’t cry, anger is unbecoming to a girl, etc). Others believe that some feelings are more acceptable to express because of what the church has preached. And even more believe that unless a feeling is positive, we shouldn’t share or express it externally at all.
This dichotomy of believing that all our emotions are valid and yet, negative or positive in cultural connotation, has led to a lot of misguided expression and fear of vulnerability.
Through working with Christians in learning to be more vulnerable, regulate, honor (not validate), and truly embrace their emotions, I have had the unique opportunity of seeing this human experience as a much deeper Godly one. As humans, we all feel emotions, but as believers we have the opportunity to experience emotions as holy, and Christ honoring.
In Exodus 34, God’s character is directly introduced for the first time in scripture. And with it comes a direct reference to the emotions of Yahweh – compassionate and gracious, slow to anger. From here, scripture abounds in the reference of so many of God’s deep and perfect feelings. He experiences: joy(Jeremiah 32:41), jealousy(Exodus 20:5), anger (Exodus 4:14), sorrow (Gen. 6-6). When He sends His only son Jesus to walk among us, He does so “in the radiance of the glory of God” (Heb. 1:3). From the very beginning of Jesus’ walk on Earth, he feels. He feels troubled (Mark 14:33), and angry (Matthew 21:12). He sighs, weeps (John 11:35), rejoices.
In scripture, God’s compassion is referred to in Hebrew as Rakhum. Rakhum directly translates to womb. In this depiction of God and His compassion He is equated to the most sacred, safe, and comforting part of any nurturing mother. His compassion is deeply inherent and wildly robust. He is moved by His people and cares for them to a biological level – wanting nothing more than to love them.
God’s anger is known as Kana. Translated directly from Hebrew to jealous God. When we think of jealousy, we think of coveting something that is not ours. When we refer to God being jealous we see it as a reflection of His love through a deep protective instinct. God’s jealousy is not possessive or insecure, it is passionate and loving.
If Yahweh feels, and Jesus feels – feelings must be a truly perfect and holy experience ordained and gifted by God for humans to experience.
As we are made in His image, we are therefore made to connect to Him through our vast array of feelings. However, it is through the Holy Spirit that we are to discern when those feelings are human led versus God given and Christ honoring.
Emotions are a gage – not a guide.
Emotions help us to understand a situation, what we value, how we think, but should never dictate how we live or make decisions. Just as the Holy Spirit can use these feelings to help honor and reflect God, Satan can also use them to cloud your mind and harden your heart.
Only God is God. Our thoughts are not God.
The Word is what defines truth. We must use that truth to determine how to respond, not our own perceptions and thoughts. By using God’s truth as an anchor for our emotions, we can experience them in a more holy way. We can be obedient to the will of Christ and not the will of our deceitful heart.
“Stand firm then, with the belt of truth” Ephesians 6:14
So what are some practical ways to decipher between a feeling being a guide of the Holy Spirit for our reactions vs a clouded human perception led by unholy distractions?
Consider the following 3 common feelings. Note what the human expression of them would look like and contrast that with the divine expression.
| Emotion | Inappropriate | Appropriate |
| Anger | Impatience, unkindness, displeasure | Indignation toward sin, reconciliation |
| Fear | Negative judgements, worry over uncontrollable things | Fear (reverence) for the Lord |
| Sadness | Self pity, distrust | Mourning, lament, sorrow |
Utilizing these as an example – use tools like the feeling wheel below to identify where an emotion is expressed in the bible and how it is expressed when God inspired. Through the truth of scripture we can better navigate how to know when our feelings are appropriate (valid) and can be a guide to our actions. If the truth of scripture points away from what we are feeling as an appropriate expression, honor where this feeling is coming from, but don’t allow it to dictate your response.
If you want to learn more about having more biblical based feelings, turn to Anchored Hope Counseling in Kannapolis, NC. Anchored Hope Counseling provides a wide range of therapy services from couples counseling to personal one-on-one sessions. View a list of our offerings online, or schedule a consultation today. If you liked these tips remember to subscribe to our weekly blog for more news and insights.
Learn More
Prioritizing Mental Health: Small Steps for a Happier Mind
Are you overwhelmed with “too much” on your “to-do” list? Do you struggle to find time to prioritize yourself and your mind? In today’s fast-paced world, mental health often takes a backseat to our daily responsibilities. However, just like physical health, taking care of our minds is essential for overall well-being. The good news? You don’t need a complete lifestyle overhaul to improve your mental health—small, consistent steps can make a big difference. Follow the smalls steps below to prioritize your mental health and have a happier mind.
Steps to a Happier Mind and Better You!
1. Practice Mindfulness
Mindfulness is the simple act of being present in the moment. Whether it’s focusing on your breath, paying attention to your surroundings, or eating without distractions, mindfulness helps reduce stress and improve emotional regulation.
2. Stay Active
Exercise isn’t just for physical fitness—it’s also a powerful tool for mental well-being. Even a 10-minute walk outside can boost your mood by releasing endorphins, the body’s natural stress relievers. You could even try simple Yoga poses that could help build strength and confidence.
3. Prioritize Sleep
Lack of sleep can lead to increased anxiety, irritability, and difficulty concentrating. Aim for 7-9 hours of quality sleep each night to help your mind reset and recharge. To help get a good night sleep, you might try sleeping with a sound machine or try a guided reading for meditation.
4. Connect with Others
Social interaction is crucial for mental health. Whether it’s talking to a friend, joining a community group, or seeking support from a therapist, connecting with others can help combat loneliness and improve emotional well-being. I challenge you to set a monthly reminder to free yourself to hangout with friends or family in a social setting, this can be a great way to be social and create healthy relationships with others outside of your normal routine.
5. Set Boundaries
Learning to say no and protecting your time is essential for mental health. Over-committing can lead to burnout, so it’s important to set limits and prioritize self-care. This is so important and often one a lot of us do not prioritize at all. Setting healthy boundaries can be challenging at times we are involved in so many different avenues and groups, but it is very important for all of us to know that it is okay to say “No” to things or to people as long as you are prioritizing your mental health.
6. Seek Professional Help When Needed
There is no shame in reaching out for help. Therapists, counselors, and support groups can provide guidance and strategies to manage stress, anxiety, and other mental health challenges. At Anchored Hope Counseling, we have two highly trained counselors and two interns that would love the opportunity to help you prioritize your mental health and work towards a happier, healthier YOU!
Final Thoughts: Prioritizing your mental health
Your mental health matters. By making small, intentional changes, you can create a more balanced and fulfilling life. Start today—your mind will thank you!
If you are struggling with prioritizing your mental health, turn to Anchored Hope Counseling in Kannapolis, NC. Anchored Hope Counseling provides a wide range of therapy services from couples counseling to personal one-on-one sessions. View a list of our offerings online, or schedule a consultation today. If you liked these tips remember to subscribe to our weekly blog for more news and insights.
Written by Vinita Fitzgibbon
Learn More
Shift Your Mindset in Times of Hopelessness
During times of hopelessness and depression, I have this bad habit of asking questions like, “Why does everything have to be so difficult?” or “Why can’t things just go the way I planned?” In reality, there is nothing wrong with asking questions like that out of frustration. We all need to vent sometimes. However, I have to try not to ask questions like that too often because asking “why” tends to keep me focused on the negative aspects of the situation. Instead, when I am frustrated or feeling hopeless, I try to shift my mindset and look at the bigger picture and find opportunities of growth. To do this, it helps me to compare my frustrating situation to hiking.
As I mentioned in a previous post, my husband and I love to explore. Sometimes, our explorations involve hiking trails. While my husband is a hiking pro, I struggle a little with the incline. I get out of breath and occasionally feel like I may just pass out from exhaustion. However, the exhaustion, pain, and sweat are always worth it once I reach the top and enjoy the most magnificent and peaceful views imaginable.
As a Christian, God has called me to the mountaintop to enjoy the most incredible view with Him. However, as much as I want to join Him right away, there is a catch. In order to get to the top, I have climb the mountain. On top of that, any hiker will tell you that you can’t just climb a mountain without preparation. It requires training and the proper gear to successfully make it to the top.
The hike to the top is not meant to be easy. In fact, the struggle makes it worth it. Any hiker will also tell you that the view from the top of a difficult hike is much better than the easy, “drive right up views.” Those views are often littered with cars, trash, and packed with tourists. On the other hand, the difficult hikes are quiet, peaceful, and pure. Basically, if we want to enjoy the peace of the mountaintop, we have to go through the training and we have to experience the struggle of the climb.
By comparing daily struggles to hiking, I have found that it is the struggles of life that refine us to better versions of ourselves. I believe that we are all created for a specific purpose, and with purpose comes preparation. We are not born with the strengths and skills we need to fulfill our purpose, which means each of our paths will include struggles of mistakes and missteps.
During those frustrating moments, it helps to remember a hike and change our question from “why?” to “how?” We change our mindset when we stop focusing on the lamenting “why” questions and instead chose to ask, “How can I grow from this situation.”
Ultimately, when everything seems hopeless and the climb seems too difficult, remember that trials are intended to increase our perseverance, strengthen our character, and renew our hope. You only get to enjoy the peace of the mountaintop when you allow the climb to make you stronger.
At the end of the day, if you still feel like the mountain of depression and hopelessness is still too hard to climb, reach out to Anchored Hope Counseling today. Anchored Hope Counseling provides a wide range of therapy services from couples counseling to personal one-on-one sessions. View a list of their offerings online, or click here to schedule a consultation today. Also, if you found this post to be helpful, remember to share it with others and subscribe for more insights and news each week.
Learn More“Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, 3 for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. 4 And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.” (James 1:2-4 ESV).
Making Hope-Filled Plans When Everything Seems Hopeless
Just about everyone makes some sort of promise to themselves with the coming of a New Year: get in better shape, lose a few pounds, or maybe break a bad habit. Then…by February, most—if not all—of the plans and resolutions seem abandoned. Often, when we do not meet our goals, we let the “feelings of failing” get us down. It causes us to lose faith in ourselves, our bigger goals, and our vision for our life. After, 2020—a year of unmet plans due to a worldwide pandemic—it can almost seem scarier to make plans out of fear that there is no way they will be met. However, I want to encourage you not to give up on setting goals and keep working hard to meet them. Goals just don’t help us measure progress, they also give us a sense of hope, direction, and motivation. Goals create momentum, generate activities, and also help us to stay focused during difficult times.
Making an Anchored “Hope” Map
If you have a vision but need help with the goals, try making an Anchored “Hope” Map, like the one below. Hope has been known to expand thinking and fuel persistence. In fact, how you think about the future determines your success in work, relationships, school, and life. High levels of hope leads to an increase in positive workplace outcomes, gains in academic performance, and increased happiness. A hope map can help you plan out your goals in a hope-filled way, so you can see your goals in a different light.
Let’s make up for 2020 and bring more hope into 2021 by seeing our plans met this year.
At the end of the day, if you still feel like you can’t find hope in your situation, reach out to Anchored Hope Counseling today. Anchored Hope Counseling provides a wide range of therapy services from couples counseling to personal one-on-one sessions. View a list of their offerings online, or click here to schedule a consultation today. Also, if you found this post to be helpful, remember to share it with others and subscribe for more insights and news each week.
Download the Anchored Hope Map here.
“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11 ESV
Shining a Light on the Broken Past
Thanks to the Goonies and Indiana Jones, my husband and I love to explore old abandoned places; anything from ancient ruins and castles to abandoned farm houses lost in woods of North Carolina. To us, if it is old, dirty, and a little dangerous, we are going in to explore it. To some, we seem adventurous and to many, we seem a little crazy…”Why would anyone risk their life just to walk through an old abandoned building?” those people tend to ask.
Usually, when people ask me that question I respond with a smile and say we are treasure hunters or that we should have been archeologists. However, lately (after watching many episodes of Expedition Unknown—thank you Discovery+), I have realized that there is more beauty in our hobby than I ever realized.
Lately, I have reminisced about the many times we crawled through dark, abandoned doorways, past spiders and other critters I try not to think about. Each time, we would pull out our flashlights and shine a light on the forgotten past of this once thriving structure. Usually, our goal is to look past the mess, slime and critters to uncover a treasure left behind or clues and a connection to a long-lost life.
Through my reminiscing, I was reminded about shame and how devastating it can be on our life. Shame is like the rust, dirt, or vines that can eat at on old building; causing it to slowly crumble away. We may try to bury it and abandon it, but usually the mess begins to rot the structure until it is so damaged that it is uninhabitable. As it begins to collapse or fall away, it becomes unrecognizable and the things that remained inside become lost.
As hard as we may try to bury our shame and keep it from the light, somehow it always seems to creep its way out of the cracks and the light exposes it. Other times, it stays hidden until someone who is too curious (or cares, however you want to look at it) trespasses into our lives and shines a bright flashlight directly on our shame, guilt, or sin.
Shining a light on shame is hard. You see the rot, the mess, and the destruction. The damage can be scary and even a little dangerous to those who discover it. However, if you persevere through the darkness, and shine light on all the corners, you may discover the connection to the past that you once lost and longed for. You may find the hidden treasure in the room or realize that what was in the dark isn’t as scary as you once thought. Hopefully, after time exploring in the light, you find that the healing power of the light is better than letting everything fall away in the darkness.
The great thing about explorers and archeologists, is that when they find an abandoned structure, they see beauty and want to reveal its history to the world. They clear away the mess and begin to rebuild the structure back to its former glory. Amazingly, they don’t just tear it down and start fresh. They use what is there and preserve it. They clean and fix it. They restore it and make it stronger. In the end, it is just as beautiful as it once was, stronger, and more cherished.
If you have a secret shame that has been destroying you from the inside out, I want to encourage you to seek the light, find your connection to the past, clear away the mess, and find healing and restoration. Please know that I understand that this process is hard, but there is good news, you don’t have to do it alone! At Anchored Hope Counseling, I can help you explore the shame, find the light you need, and help you restore yourself to what you always wanted to be.
Learn More