The Importance of Gratitude for a Hope-Filled Marriage
Do you feel like your home is full of constant nagging? Do you work hard but you feel your spouse doesn’t appreciate you or acknowledge anything you do for the relationship? Do you just feel alone in your marriage and your spouse doesn’t seem to want to make any effort? Maybe you feel that there is just no more hope left for the two of you.
As we get comfortable in our relationships and establish a routine, it is common for couples to start taking each other for granted. Often, it is the small gestures of daily life that maintains a connection between a couple. If your acts of kindness each day are looked at as “duties” and become expected, then your relationship will start to suffer.
However, there is hope! Expressing gratitude to your spouse can lead to a longer lasting and more committed relationship. Gratitude demonstrates your appreciation for your partner and fulfills their need to be needed. By accomplishing this, gratitude generates more connectedness, happiness, and satisfaction for both of you. Often, when you show gratitude toward your spouse, you also increase the chances that they will act warm and loving toward you. Furthermore, when you feel grateful for your partner, you are more likely to increase your loving behaviors toward them and to value your relationship.
It is important to remember that you need to show gratitude by appreciating who your spouse is as a person, not just for what they do. For example, you can be grateful that your spouse took your kids to school and packed their lunch—and appreciate their thoughtfulness in noticing how busy you were. Ultimately, when you become more aware of the positive things your spouse does, you will naturally increase your gratitude for them.
3 ways you can increase gratitude (and hope) in your marriage:
•Show your spouse that you are thinking of them: a text, a short email, or a handwritten note.
•Compliment your partner for a trait that you appreciate and find attractive, lovable, or admirable.
•Do something thoughtful and unexpected for your spouse. Don’t wait for your anniversary or until your spouse does something first. Find a genuine way to do something special. It can be as small as breaking the routine by taking on a chore or task that is usually your partner’s responsibility.
Note: If you still feel that there is just no hope for your marriage and the hurt is too deep to restore the relationship through gratitude, reach out to Anchored Hope Counseling today. At Anchored Hope, I can help you restore gratitude in your relationship and rebuild your marriage through personalized techniques.
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Looking for a Treasure When You Feel Defeated
For over a year now, my husband and I have been working on completely refurbishing a 100 year old mill house. We have been doing most of the work ourselves and expected the project to be done within 8 months. However, the process has been much longer than we expected and there are days when we want to give up in defeat.
The moments of “what did we get ourselves into” started early in the process and almost every day it felt like we will never get to move into our new home. Each time we walk in, the feeling of being overwhelmed and defeated would crash into us.
To keep from losing our sanity and giving up, we had to develop a strategy to fight discouragement and defeat. This strategy came into play during the first weeks of the remodel process…”demo day” (which was not as fun as Chip Gaines makes it seem since it really lasted more than a week).
For us, Labor day weekend 2019 was spent in a 100 year old abandoned house, tearing down walls, ceilings, and ripping up pea green shag carpet in 100 degree heat. Covered in dust, soot, and sweat, I said to my husband, “It would be amazing if we found a treasure in the wall. It would make all of this worth it.” Just then, as I pulled the drywall down, I found a tiny wood cross in between the 100 year old beams. While to some this would be worthless, it was a reminder to me as a Christian of the greatest treasure I will ever receive–God’s love and grace.
With that tiny cross, God reminded me that His love can help me overcome any obstacle I may face. With that reminder, that tiny cross gave me a restored hope and the ability to keep moving forward. As I looked at that little cross in my hand, I realized that if all we see is what is against us, then we will remain in a prison of discouragement and defeat. However, when we seek the treasure hidden in our suffering, we break free from defeat and can find hope in a better tomorrow
So now, whenever I feel discouraged, weary, or overwhelmed, I try to remember the cross, my personal anchor of hope.
If you are in a storm of defeat, I want to challenge you to look for the small treasure in the storm; something positive to anchor your hope to. By doing that, you may find the strength you need to carry on.
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Here is my treasure, the little white cross found in the mess of defeat.
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Welcome
Welcome to the Anchored Hope Counseling! Life can be full of joy, but sometimes we still experience pain, suffering, and hardship. It is during this trials of hardships that people seek help, advice, or something to anchor their hope to. I started Anchored Hope Counseling because I know how counseling can help during the storms of life and can be the anchor of hope that so many people need.
However, talking to someone about your feelings and problems can be challenging. Many people fear that they will be judged, don’t truly understand how counseling works, and believe that counseling is just for “crazy” people–and they definitely do not want to be labeled as crazy! My goal with this blog is to explain how counseling works, how it helps, and give tips and advice on mental health. Hopefully, by the end of the day, the stigma of counseling will start to disappear and when someone is looking for hope, they will not let the fear of change or counseling keep them from finding the help and hope that they need.
For the first post, I want to explain what counseling is and what it looks like for me. To me, counseling is a powerful asset to help you navigate difficult situations and hardships in order to reach healing and growth. The best part is, you do not have to walk through it alone. I can help you to understand your situation, cope and move through productively. Counseling provides a therapeutic relationship where you can explore issues, find ways to remove obstacles, and make healthy decisions that can lead towards personal growth and healing. It provides you with an opportunity to learn new ways of thinking and behaving that help restore balance in your life. The ultimate goal of counseling is to provide the platform to grow physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.
My personal counseling philosophy is summarized in the name “Anchored Hope.” Ultimately, I believe the name Anchored Hope is reflection of what I want to convey to clients and the community, and that is HOPE. The name Anchored Hope was inspired by the following scripture:
Which hope we have as an anchor of the soul, both sure and steadfast, and which enters into that within the veil; Hebrews 6:19
This verse teaches that our hope for healing can be steadfast and anchors us. With this type of hope, we may not always see how the healing will come, but we know that it will come through our eyes of faith. To me, counseling is a way to direct people to hope so that they can experience joy and wholeness.
Thank you for taking the time to learn about Anchored Hope. I consider it a sincere privilege and honor that you have taken the time to read my blog. Check back every now and then for new content to get updates.
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